I arrived in Melbourne 5 days ago, after a 9 hr bus ride from Canberra. On my 2nd day here, I took a 2 hr walking city tour provided by the hostel and learned the most important thing you can ever know about Melbourne. The land was “discovered” by Batman……John Batman is the European who stole the land from the Wurundjeri tribe. Being the modest man that John was, he wanted to name the place Batmania, but was overruled and it was named Melbourne instead. Given what we now know about Batman, I think they missed a real opportunity here.

Melbourne is big on culture and art. They are famed for their graffiti’d alleys and streets like Hosier Lane where artists are given permits to paint murals.

There’s also AC/DC Lane. The Australian Band has their own muraled alley dedicated to them.

That’s enough art for now, back to our questionable heroes. Ned Kelly, Australian bushranger!! Aussie’s are divided on whether or not he was a good guy or a bad guy. Some see him as an Australian version of Robin Hood, while others see him as a murderous villian. Either way he is probably the most legendary person in Australian history and wait til you see this man’s beard.

Eventually, Kelly was caught, tried, convicted and hung for murder at the Old Melbourne Gaol (don’t ask me how or why, but that is pronounced “jail”)….It’s “the old spelling” is what they tell me. When I found out the jail offered nighttime ghost tours, Ned Kelly himself wasn’t going to stop me from getting a ticket. Unfortunately, when I went on the tour nothing weird happened, so basically I just walked around a dark jail listening to stories about some of the weird things that can go on there. Not a great story to tell those of you that are skeptics.

The other thing Melbourne is known for is it’s night life. The party never stops here if you don’t want it to. It just so happens that I was here for “White Night,” which is held once a year in Melbourne. It goes from 7 pm on Saturday night until 7 am Sunday morning. From my small sample, I have no idea what the point is other than to party. They told me the city would be lit up, but it was pretty much just a fuckton of people gathered in certain areas and they had some live music.

I had a day trip booked for the next morning and had to wake up at 6 am, so I just got a glimpse of White Night. I either missed the party of a lifetime or another opportunity to realize I’m too old for this shit.

That’s all for now. I’ll have at least one more Melbourne post about my day trip and the aftermath of White Night.